Private Equity


We wish to purchase a very cheap world
Before its forests burn and oceans curl
Pandemics and ecocides decrease the price
It’s small, digestible, we’d buy it twice

Plentiful water, biologics galore
Cities stuffed with immense, packed stores
Millions of species sport chunky genes
Huge balloon fish baleening the seas

Data’s concentrated, we’ll mine it fast
Ruins plus animals so tourism lasts
Main species knows slavery, easily transported
Data Banks for the loan already courted

Still some obstacles clutter the way
Ruling species’ leaders want their own say
Claim they’ll blast everything with nuclear weapons
Or viruses killing the whole lot in seconds
We’ll bribe them with VRs or dachas off-world
Nice prison planets they’ll think heaven unfurled

A worse issue is that they’ve rented the sky
A full century’s data to some low skill AI
It promises to wreck any reasonable deal
Sees our proposal as its next data meal

We must move quickly – the concept is catching
Our scurvy rivals scent the deal hatching
It’s a primitive, tiny, foolish mad place
But profits too high for us to let waste

Memo from the Chief

Present resources  high
No need for LBOs, CLOs,  VEIs
Pay dumb sky AI with our best gaming tool
Fix the data and clean it – this deal approved