I wake so confused I don’t know what I hear
Fat-popping popcorn or crackling gunfire?
Probably Grandma’s attempts to text

You picked out a shout, the president’s shot?
No, I misheard, the vice-president’s hot
They’re pushing an artist who’s selling his air
Real cool idea though I truly don’t care

It’s hard enough listening to your music
Everyone wants you listening to theirs
Even that podcast on the car that ate Cleveland
I never went; now I can’t

Anything’s possible, trust me, I know
My first stepmother an alien, the next
Conceived a metaverse for her foster children
Called it babysitting and never came back

Now I hear children shrieking:
AIs attacked Disney
Invaded Universal
Kidnapped Harry Potter!
Plan to send Hogwarts to break up an asteroid
Has half the world gone stark screaming bonkers?

Sometimes I need to turn off my phone.