I Live to Report

I Live to Report

I used to be a professional

Got loads of stuff done 

Then I met my new boss


He was a professional administrator-facilitator

Never worked in a place like ours

So I got new tasks:


Write up what you do

All you do 

He didn’t understand this place

Perhaps my reports would help


Soon his requests rose 

Where pens were used, paperclips unclipped

Minutes in bathrooms and before the monitor

How many people walked through in a day


These briefs stopped  my work 

But the boss laid down the law:

Without a report facts never happened 


He couldn’t know what he didn’t know so

Demanded expansive descriptions 

I also wrote the reviews;

He didn’t like writing that much

I used to live to work

Now I live to report


I thought I’d die

Before I’d retire

Then I grasped the future:

Your write accounts

Check statements

Quality instantly assessed

Goals and mission assured 


The boss said it’s better to describe work

Than do it 

What I did before – teaching, inspiring

Hard to quantify nebulous naff

Now I generate real records  


New management arrived and snickered

Said our section “got nothing done”

We did Nothing? Our reports will test time

Rival the pyramids, astound astro-archeologists

Some day our reports will define this civilization!



Retirement is not as expected 

I can do my old job if

I do it for free

My old boss is writing our company history 

I plan to finish mine first