There are places so exaggerated
Almost anywhere else feels too real
Such is the shimmering Sunshine State
Giant middle finger between Atlantic and Gulf
Photoshopped cobalt waters
Skies of framed blue glass
Who knew when OJ moved to Florida
A new kind of magic would arrive
Sand walls that walk
That’s why we’re changing state license plates
Bringing the world our greeting: WTF
Welcome to Florida
Oranges replaced by tart viral crowns
We defend to the death your right to infect
Cemeteries are cheap in a land of flowers
Drive across our muddy Central Zone
Famously inspiring the Twilight Zone
Take a whizz in a thicket of trees
Get rewarded with a young man’s scream
His shotgun promising to blow you away
Home is one’s castle, you might say
Even if it’s a sod farm
The walking walls of sand progress
Narrowing the state’s peninsula
Look left, sunrise
Look right, sunset
Gulf to Atlantic views from the same balcony!
Watch Disney-Universal walk on mobile tracks
While Hogwarts’ magicians strain and stress
Levitating towns above swift storms
Sintering their souls to save the state
Once we remembered the future to save the past
Now dismember the past to fool the present
Yet Nature will not be fooled
No wonder UFO sightings rise to the sky
Are you ETs listening?