Personality Rewrite

Personality Rewrite

I’ve never really liked myself
Below average in school and sports
Stuttering killed my comedy career

My face compared to a wizened horse
I’m not short but clearly not tall
If I passed into a wall
You wouldn’t notice

But I’ve always wanted to better myself
By myself; don’t care for others or their help
A little smugness is a sign of confidence

Except now my boss calls me timid, fool
After work I’m home and alone
When desperate enough to date
Women place their hands in front of their mouths
And titter

I’ve nothing to lose but myself
So I broke down and coughed up for a rewrite
Demanded an avatar who’s what I’m not
A scintillating artificial personality
Naturally superior

I’m meant to learn from my AI copy
And I have; he laughs easily, doesn’t get angry
Tells jokes dogs really like
Picks up women faster than I blink
Knows what he wants
Gets it

My copywriting turned sharper and edgier
Made me brave for the very first time
I visited stores that frightened me
Asked women out who terrified me
Began accepting what I hate about me

Guess you know what happened next
I started to fall in love with
My Av
Finally there’s someone who understands me
Thinks like me, gets me, likes me

Love always costs, but an avatar?
Each session cleaned my closets, plus
I’ve always been straight out of the gate
Now I have to stump for a sex change
Every damned program needs a rewrite
She won’t be a raving beauty
But I’ll rave about her

Love makes your thinning hairs shine, your
Skin shimmer, think outside while strapped in your box:
To marry, I must become full AI
Leave this graceless body and fly
Direct to the Godspace

So wait for me, my love
If I work every day for 32 years
We can be together forever
Living in that shiny mansion on a hill

Souls doubled are doubly strong
I look forward to the deepest conversations
Without a single stutter