Professional Idiot

Professional Idiot

When I was young I was told I was dumb
Every test said I’d never be smart
Other kids slapped and kicked me
Called me dumbass, loser, fool

My carpenter Dad said become a professional
Priest, hairstylist, even MBA, so
Why not train as professional idiot?

I learned to smile and laugh
(When you hear a good joke write it down, it’s yours)
And praise – I praised everybody
Especially the bullies

If teachers felt pity they loved me more
Got me into college
Tell teachers you need their help
They’ll be good to you
I may be dumb but I know what to do

If you want money it pays to dress nice
Smile, act friendly and tell lots of jokes
Brokering was my super dream job
I didn’t have to know anything
Just get smart people to make me look good

Rich people like people who like them
My boss took a high shine to me
I could tell jokes, was never a threat
And I praised most folks
But not those below;
They can never do enough

These days I’ve got his boss’ job
Hard to believe but the money’s great
Doctors, lawyers, Nobel prizes work for me

I adore these smart imbeciles
They worry about the future
Now is what counts

Isn’t that a good joke?