Professional Idiot

Professional Idiot

When I was young I was told I was dumb
Every test said I’d never be smart
Other kids slapped and kicked me
Called me dumbass, loser, fool

My carpenter Dad said become a professional
Priest, hairstylist, even MBA, so
Why not train as professional idiot?

I learned to smile and laugh
(When you hear a good joke write it down, it’s yours)
And praise – I praised everybody
Especially the bullies

If teachers felt pity they loved me more
Got me into college
Tell teachers you need their help
Better, how good they are
They’ll be good to you
I may be dumb but I know what to do

If you want money it pays to dress nice
Smile, act friendly and tell lots of jokes
Brokering was my super dream job
I didn’t have to know anything
Just get smart people to make me look good

Rich people like people who like them
My boss took a bright shine to me
I could tell jokes, was never a threat
And I praised most folks
But not those below;
They can never do enough

These days I’ve got his boss’ job
Hard to believe but the money’s great
Doctors, lawyers, Nobel prizes work for me

I adore these smart imbeciles
They worry about the future
Now is what counts

Isn’t that a good joke?