Some things you just know are right
Simple, clear, beautiful
That’s why I’ve always loved science
Why science adores me back

I didn’t plan to fake the data
But nature’s ruled by randomness
Humans find order in what is meaningless
Is it a crime to prefer elegance?

At first I made the smallest changes
Watching the strange become significant
It’s such a kick

My most famous paper a comical caper
Could I discover the ridiculous and
Turn it serious?
I only faked a tiny bit

My forever aspiration a fine reputation
Soon fulfilled in full
I changed a focus of medical care
Received a chair, an institute
A travel budget for a prince
My wife lived like one

Only when retired did the data backfire
The university insisted on investigation
I selected half the committee
Would they risk losing honor and power?

I didn’t hurt anyone, that’s the fun
Smarter folk verified my work
Double, triple, quintuple times
I knew what they thought important
Gave them all what they wished

And proved my critical theorem:
If people want facts a certain way
That’s how the facts must play
Prejudice creates acceptable truths
Science stays clean and beautiful

You can fake it till you make it
I made it