Cosmic Cleaner

Cosmic Cleaner

This universe is a total mess
Infinitely expands only to regress
My job buff it, gleam it
Ready everything for reuse
Or refuse

I began vacuuming spots of time
Gouging out the grime behind
Worse than my first million imaginings

Cleansing history with stain remover?
The physics refused to budge
My improvised multi-black hole abrasive
Tore gaping rents in space time
Eons to make repairs

Desperate I sprayed some Gravity BeGone
Made a lovely, levitating void
Leaping back on me like a jack-in-the-box

Abashed I asked the creator what he wished
His suggestion: information deletion
Clear it out
Program all anew
Expensive, but it’s his coin

Then puny part-sentients popped up
Claimed they’d all been promised heaven;
Several in fact
Not another abyss

Zero space is not negative space, I said
Nullity no chasm
They answered me with nuclear bombs

The Creator and I changed our contract
I’d churn out a whole new heaven
Fake, of course, but they’ll love each palace
Every winged seraph and star-crossed angel
After a century of our mirage
They’ll get their rest for the rest of eternity

My fee a small universe
All my own
Free of all dumb crawling creatures

There is no loveliness like emptiness
No beauty as great as a clean slate