Witnessing the first breath of the last baby dinosaur
Spring leaves summer for autumn, births twins in time for hurricane season
The edges of first growth forests, burnt for precious minerals, produce earthworms
Leftover mountains leave lovesick glaciers for space in central Brooklyn
Disheveled valleys get trees cut by space lasers
Mermen occupy all pools in Palm Beach, force mermaids to Miami
Alligators declare Everglades a sovereign nation but are blocked by Burmese pythons requesting asylum
Grass that refuses to bend is sewn into astroturf, fitted on space stations to recall better times
Whippoorwill singing in bird cage earns enough cash to buy own tree
Putting stock in perspective leaves Wall Street without a past but predicting a fabulous future
Quantum mechanics sold to Scientific American for fintech journal
Uncontrollable laughter fades into musical chairs
Following assault allegations, football is barred by basketball from dating volleyball
Surrealist swimming in bed exposes his fears; narcissism dissolves and ruins floor
Florida bans elementary school math textbooks; replaced by science fiction classics
Major criminal disappears, reborn as AI posting an alibi
Mayans revolt and invade heavens, replace gods with game-playing robots
Thai Buddhist priests take MDMA, cancel enlightenment
Going on strike, Daoist immortals declare survival overrated.
And vanish