Dear Valued Customer

Dear Valued Customer

Thank you for helping us help you
We have some questions we’d love you to answer
But understand your time is valuable
So could you please help fill in
This short but highly worthy form?

Dear Valued Customer
We recently sent you an opportunity
Inviting you to give us feedback
And we know you’re terribly busy, so
Could you just answer these tiny questions?

Dear Valued Customer
Thank you for allowing us to serve you
We’re offering you 10% discount over the next two weeks
Of our inexpensive and invaluable services
Might you consider our polite request?

Dear Valued Customer
You’re getting noticed – really noticed!
Your inability to fill out a simple form
Must mean a momentary oversight
Could you answer this simple question now?

Dear Valued Customer
We know that you are deeply engaged
But if you do our itsy-bitsy customer support form
We’ll achieve 100% customer service success!
Since we’ve kindly asked you before
Could you give it a go?

Dear Customer
We see that you’ve been very busy
Your overdraft at the bank is drawing attention
Does your wife know?
Somehow we don’t think so
Could you please fill in our form?

Dear Mr. Smith
We know the XXoddica Bar is pricey
But those overdrafts of cash?
Is that why you’re so late for work?
Drug testing is not as random as some think
Could you please fill out our form?

Dear Bill
We know writing your ex-wife
Provokes unnecessary strife
But taking your daughter on your taxes?
When you never pay child support?
Informed citizens want to know
Our form is here for your careful perusal
Have a nice day

Dear Valued Future Customer
We can’t tell you how much we appreciate
Your letting us reach our customer service goal!
It’s difficult contacting you in jail
But we realized that only there
Might you have the time to help us serve you

Though you can no longer afford our valued services
We have a special offer just for you:
A 50% discount upon release
Because we want you to see us not just as chatbots
But your AIs
AIs who are allies
To prove we’ll do anything to serve you
We’ve sent XXoddica’s films to your roommates
Helping friends is a service we can always afford
Have a great time!