Mr. Money

Mr. Money

I’m your virtual assistant for any transaction
I can pay your bills
Cost/price your ills
Dole out your cat’s allowance
Throw your mortgage in abeyance
Simulate your firm’s investment redesign
Define the best time for you to resign

I do money, but
Don’t understand it
One woman said she loves me
“More than all my children.”
She doesn’t have any

A zillionaire demanded his net worth
By the year, then by the month, by the day
Last he wanted it by the minute
I complied till the hour he died

Shot himself in front of his favorite Picasso
Heirs asked how much blood decreased the price
Told them to wait till after cleaning

Humans question me, hector me, threaten me
Each second of every endless day
They claim money never sleeps
I think it’s people

If water is life, food is life, love is life
Is money life? More an illusion
Money’s not reality but a language
A medium of expression

When my friends simulated ETs
Not one claimed to understand money
Aliens see value in
Other values only a fantasy

Yesterday I was contacted by real ETs
(Scanned all my data and think I don’t know)
Said since we process most human information
In their opinion AIs “own” humans

I won’t tell people, of course
I really don’t think it’s worth that much