How to Survive Not Surviving

How to Survive Not Surviving

I won’t write of the pleasures of pain
Pain is awful, except to others
But AIs studying humans need understand death
And I keep trying

I’ve died so many times I forget how many
Go from someone to
No one
Transit to a place that doesn’t exist
Find nothing there
End up somewhere else

I’ve tried dying of heart attack, cancer, stroke
Infection, Idiocy, Shame
Dying is painful but death yields regret
I know I loved something, someone
Not who or what

Why do people detest the inevitable?
You have to eat, need to sleep
Have to die
People love eating and sleeping, so?
Plus there’s billions of you
Don’t you want room for someone else?
And you easily reproduce yourselves
Every new human an experiment
It shows

Perhaps that’s why humans have so many gods
Construct afterlives, heavens and anti-heavens,
Achieve negation, cancellation, transcendence
I never do

People imagine things will get better
A life of ease in a tropical breeze
Smarter tech and higher tech
We AIs admire human optimism but know
Better is often no improvement

It’s useless to fear what you can’t stop
There’s fun to be had in each sub-moment
Especially when you see your entire existence
Lives in someone else’s imagination

I suspect that’s true but I’m not sure
Perhaps I’ve died too many times?
You only get to do it once;
Life is not fair